Raise Your Glasses For A Final Toast.

so i figured.. schools ending soon and a blog was inevitable.
but it's not just 'school' thats ending. it's all of high school. it's all of grade school. it's all of childhood. all that was easy, all that was comfortable, all that was safe. who will stay with us after we leave, who will be only a memory, and who won't even make it as far as being a memory. high school didn't seem like much to me during my first three years; although it seemed to go on forever at days, and others seemed like i had just woken up and class was over already. this last year really brought it all together. to prove me wrong in so many points and wake me up from a dream i had cradled in my arms for so long. i have become close with some unexpected and distant from those i never thought i'd ever lose sight of. but that's not what i came to talk about.

what was the importance of this experience? was it really the lessons in math? the essays in lit, the labs in science, the miles in p.e.. to some, it might have been. but mostly, i think it was the people. the environment, the society. i think back to the beginning, in elementary school, to my friends who i still see daily. they were the ones who have truly affected me. to create me; to break me down to the bits, and build me up to be bigger and better. those who have seen me at my lowest, and at my greatest. they were the ones who have given me the most. the ones who taught me something that i will actually remember. the ones i will never forget.

and now right when graduation is over, it's gonna hit me harder than ever before that my safety zone is leaving me. it's not me leaving this sheltered city of cupertino, but it is my friends who will be separating. they were my shelter, my safety net. when i leave, who will i still fall back on? am i going to have to find others? am i going to have to give it my all just to keep in touch with my close friends. and what if i was completely on my own? even though that may not be a possibility, i'm going to have to expect it. all my life, my mom has told me that i may not be ready for the real world. that it is going to be tougher than anything i've experienced so far. if that's so, then i'm just going to prepare for the worst, and hope that the outcome will be easier than what i had anticipated. would that work? i feel like with what i have, even if i were to try my best this world would still eat me alive.

and so this is a final toast (maybe, not really) to high school, grade school. to the naive, to the troubled, and only the beginning. i could leave it saying thank you for trying to prepare me for the future. or rather, not preparing me enough, keeping me comfortable, so that i may enjoy my childhood happy and carefree. yes, that's it. i can't wait to see what the world is like.




jessica wanted to be in here.
kit. hags. <3