Where's The Limit?

Things seem unorganized. maybe it's just because it's break and there's no school (WHOAA); maybe it's because my dad's home and that's just always weird (sadly). i'm not sure where i'm trying to get at with this topic, but i feel like there have been new rules set in my life and they were established without me knowing. i don't know what limits there are and there's no way of finding out without crossing them first, which is dangerous. this has never happened to me before. throughout my life, i've always had a sense of control over what's happened, what's happening and what will happen. too much control isn't good for you according to the paper i wrote for lit. and now it seems as if everything from now till my first year in college will just be one long-ass ride; going fast at times and slow. i'm gonna need the slow.. college has always sounded so far away to us but we're second semester seniors now and it's so close. hah shit i don't even want to know what's gonna happen to me when i graduate. what college am i suppose to go to, i have not a freaking clue. that's so scary. but as for everything changing now, i guess it could be a good thing that it came so much earlier than i expected. the hardest part for me when we graduate is the fact that i know some people, i will never see again. or hardly. and those i hold closest to me, i will have to hold on to even tighter because i never want to let them go. i'm attached to my friends like no other; i need them. these new rules are here to train me and i swear i'll listen. the picture above was taken at.. Lakeside? Mountain View. My family went there for a walk on christmas morning, it was very nice.

second note: i really hate my dreams now. ever since the first time i mentioned my very vivid, nightmare-ish dreams, i've been having more. i'm scared to fall asleep now cause i don't want another freakyass dream. somebody help me.