life is so strange now.
everything comes unexpected and like never before. things are so different and they don't seem to be changing back. at least not anytime soon. now they're piling up in ways i've never had to deal with before. i don't know why i don't attempt to fix things. i believe that's just how i am, which is never a good thing. i let things go too easily, even when i said i never would. i'm hoping the people i believe in are still true and will stay forever. but that's hard to say since i'm the one that's constantly changing. all the things i've lost are of my own faults and i can say that's not a good feeling. and what i've gained and still have, i intend to keep for as long as i can.
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4 comments:
Life is indeed, strange! Our earlier expectations of the future will rarely ever be 100% correct. We all expected this to be a relaxed year, looking around, it is quite obvious that this is definitely not a relaxed year at all. As we get older, more and more blocks of life get thrown at us, and many of them will be unexpected. However, as we mature, the more experience we'll gain in resolving issues with speed and efficiency.
It takes a tremendous amount of effort to bring yourself to begin to fix things. However, in these problems, it takes more than a one person effort to fix it. Everyone within this problem, has their own responsibility to initiate reparations.
It is our ideal belief that people stayed the way in which we liked them. However, people will always change. I myself, have changed drastically every single year for the past 4 years. Sometimes, changes can be good, sometimes it can be bad. We're always wary about change. But, as long as those people you believe in stay true deep down inside, then that's what matters.
I think, all the things you've lost are not entirely of your own fault. Sure, you may have to take the blame for part of it or even most of it, but it is definitely not all your fault. Some others, may also share part of the blame. But ultimately, you yourself will have to take the initiative in this situation if others are unwilling to do so.
As for your last sentence, I am happy for you! You have the control, take your life into your own hands.
wow uly just took commenting onto a whole different level.
change is constant in our lives =( I'm pretty sure you know that very well by now. but like i said, you can always keep those people who you love... and as they change, there's even more of them you can love now =)it's good to reflect back, think about mistakes... as it gives you a whole level of understanding. But now you have the choice to work on it. Is it going to be your day? or any other day that passes by.. that's your choice :)
the saddest part is being able to recognize the problem, but not being able to do anything about it.
i'm glad that you're in content, and happy w/ whom you are with. :) it seems magical.
hope 2008 has been going swell for you.
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